The high-school team’s shortstop, thinking of his upcoming at-bat, jogged off the baseball field after his team had gotten the third out of the inning—when his coach, walking briskly out of the dugout and toward him, yelled, with contempt and an extended arm and pointing finger, “Get over here!” The shortstop, surprised, slowed his jog, and made it to the patch of grass at which his coach was now pointing.
“Don’t you ever,” the coach bellowed for all to hear, making this moment about him—not the education of his player, his student. Giving his self-righteousness and his student’s shame an audience composed of teammates, other coaches, parents, students, and whomever else was enjoying this baseball game.
“I’ve never heard him yell at a player like this,” said the athletic trainer to the shortstop’s parent, both of whom were watching the game from the other side of the chain-link fence.
This moment, this decision, this context, action, timing, language, and tone—this coach, this educator—failed in this moment and betrayed this student by shaming him. Regardless of the content of the coach’s concern, he squandered his opportunity to teach and his student’s to learn.
Whether a public moment like this, or a more private one—like helping a student with test-corrections or essay revisions, or reflecting on a social dilemma or a behavior misstep—when an educator resorts or falls prey to shaming, they erode, like warming ocean waters pulling down the facade of a glacier, that student’s trust, and perhaps sense of self. This often happens in emotional moments of vulnerability filled with the potential for building up and bolstering rather than eroding and tearing down. And such moments are filled with such tremendous promise.
Reflect on when you’ve done this to a student, when you succumbed to singling out a learner with shame. Why did you do this? Why did you decide or, worse, unconsciously justify shame? What will you do better next time? You’ll have another opportunity—another at-bat—perhaps (or perhaps not) with that same student, but definitely with others.
